By the time i wrote this.. I am very sad. I am confused of being myself. I always advise my friend to be themselves. It is tough being yourself. Harder even to learn to say no. I believe one will know what one's want by practising so. Caring and loving one person is not hard. Harder even if one couldn't control himself afterwards. My heart deepen into it, but i have to face the truth. Avoiding is not the way of solving problems. Continuing even worse. I don't wish to lose one anymore... it will take me ages to recover and to accept others. Every case is unique. no particular format, no permanent formula to apply. Rules are made to negotiate with. so envy those who able to love each other, to whom at the right timing. I have tears everytime i think of this. i never so. now i cant control myself to express. is hard.